neverland

Baawra Mann

2008-05-14T23:55:00.005+06:30

An amazing song from the movie hazaaron khwaishein aisi.

U Me Aur Hum

2008-04-16T19:17:00.003+06:30

I am loving it!!! so you know that this piece is completely dedicated to the superb movie made by Devegan Films U Me Aur Hum.

Nice story, picturisation but what makes it gr8 is the concept. Concept of soul mates the concept of 'U Me Aur Hum'. One must read the Director's note @ http://umeaurhum.erosentertainment.com/ . Yeah I am loving it!! :)

And here's the bonus!!

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Spoorthi

2008-03-31T19:51:00.001+06:30

SpoortHi. This was a dream come true for me. I always wanted to do something other than my mundane daily schedule, something that would give me peace, happiness and would bring me close to the real world.
I came in contact with Spoothians through a friend, and since then there is no looking back. Time to time we organize some event which helps us to connect to the God’s beautiful world, and we do that in our way, by taking some time and meeting ‘not so privileged’ people.

Yesterday, was one of the good days, when we decided to visit an old age home located in Bannerghatta road. Amazing experience. We met people who were living there not by force or devoid of choice but with their independent decision. The place we visited was not an NGO it was a ‘pay and stay’ set up. All the people there were financially independent and most of them emotionally too, at least they seemed to be.

Some things can’t be expressed in words, they can be just felt, and so was the experience I had there, a mixed feeling of happiness and sadness. Felt sad for those unprivileged kids/relatives of the people staying there, who had, somehow due to whatever reason, abandoned these amazing people. What probably they failed to realize was that, it was not them abandoning these wonderful old people; rather it was their misfortune that God didn’t choose them to be suitable enough, that they could take care of them. Felt happy for the people staying over there, by God’s grace they were independent (financially) and strong (emotionally) enough, to fight and survive even at this age. Hope they always get the peace, they came here for.Got a lot to learn, ya they were the more experienced people at last.

Equality: Again a misnomer!!!

2008-01-07T13:31:00.001+06:30

We talk about the right to equality. Everyone is equal, The State shall not discriminate against any citizen on grounds only of religion, race, caste, sex, place of birth or any of them.

Well from our childhood we are told and taught that this a fundamental right, granted to all the Indians. No one can ever challenge it as it is mentioned in the Indian Constitution. I was also amongst those who grew up with the notion, that this is true. So it is ‘politically’. I never knew that even fundamental rights can be interpreted and manipulated by other laws or their sub clauses.

I don’t have much of knowledge on the law, but from my ‘real time’ experience I realized that my notion, of the simplicity of this fundamental right, was not so correct.

Take this example, I was filling some form where I was suppose to declare the nominees for my account. I was reading thru the instructions when I was really taken aback. Rules/Guidelines for males and Females were different. WHY?? What struck me more was the nature of this difference. A female is allowed to declare her husband’s parents as her nominee, as they would be considered as a part of the family, but the same is not true for a male. He cannot declare her wife’s parents as nominee as they won’t be considered as a part of the family!!!!
The difference dose not ends here. Both of them can declare their children married/unmarried as their nominee. But in case of a deceased child, only son’s family (his widow and children) would be considered as family and can be nominated but the same is not true for a daughter!!!

Ya we do have a right to equality. Females are given a right to declare a their nominees. At least its not defaulted to be same as the declaration of their better half.

My Dreams My Aspirations

2007-12-11T15:31:00.000+06:30

Life is so easy, until we complicate it ourselves. Look at this; other day i was having a conversation with a friend about dreams and aspirations. For me it sounded quite simple. I know my potential and hence my limitations, so my aspirations are motivated by my potential and once i dream of something, i start chasing it. that's it. But then i came across this concept of 'practicality'. What affects your dreams and aspirations is not just your potential but even this 'practicality'. Now here is all the confusion. If my potential makes my dream feasible, then what more do I need to consider to decide the 'practical' aspect of it? Answer was 'Situations'. Hmm...but then again, its up to me, as to how much consideration do I give to situations, right? So than again am back on square one. Its all about my potential, if I am not able to control my situations, or if I am not able to give suitable considerations to my situations its my limitation. And if it's my limitation, I shall pay for it.

Nice songs are made even today!!!

2007-12-10T10:07:00.001+06:30

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Another Nice Song

2007-12-06T11:23:00.000+06:30

This is one of those very rare song, which, as I would say it, is sung from heart.

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This is wat is called classic!!

2007-12-05T15:04:00.001+06:30

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2007-10-31T18:04:00.001+06:30

I read somewhere, the man who is scared of employing another able man, is basically accepting his own incapability in his own profession. I didn’t understand the statement that well, at that time, but may be now I know, what exactly the person, who wrote this, was trying to convey.

I see men with intelligence, only that they themselves are not sure of it; at least their actions prove their intellectual insecurities. I see people who don’t like wisdom!! Can you beat that, they believe, and will do that till eternity, in what they were asked to believe. Well ask them who asked them to follow that particular trail of mind set and so called ‘faith’ and they themselves won’t have an answer. The best they will come out to explain themselves would be: “Well isn’t this the trail whole of the universe is walking through, then why not me”. Well I don’t know of them but as for me, definitely NOT.

I have herd people saying, don’t think, don’t expect, don’t have desires, well why? If I know I deserve I will desire. It’s wrong to expect from others, I don’t have a right to do so, but I do expect certain things from myself and that’s what I desire, as that’s precisely what I deserve. And I do think about it, and will continue to do so till I achieve it and then there will be another set of expectations I will set for myself. If I don’t restrict myself, nobody can.

2007-10-24T16:18:00.000+06:30

I was just wondering, if, of all the people I have ever met or known till date, in my life, I just try to filter out people, I would call a person with a purpose or a person with a principle, how many of them will actually filter in? Well leave the astonishing number I computed, or rather I was not able to compute, what astonished me more was the fact that most of these people would not even bother to consider any such criteria as sensible.

Why does this happens that one accepts mediocrity so easily, with utmost happiness and without any refusal or struggle? What makes us so helpless and so sure of our incapability for everything? Well just see the irony here: how many of us will actually accept any of our incapability, our ego just won’t let us do so, but when it comes to accepting this flow of mediocrity we are more than happy to do so.

The basic problem with us mortals is this amazing tendency of creating ‘comfort zones’, a zone from where we just don’t want to move out. What makes this tendency really amazing is the fact that, however uncomfortable a zone is, sooner or later it becomes your ‘comfort zone’, not for the fact that now you find it comfortable but for the fact that we are so used to mediocrity that we just don’t want to fight, all we do and yearn to do is adjust. And look what we come to accept!! But do we regret it? No. We just don’t even realize. We just don’t care.

Most of us keep cribbing, excuses to do so wary from work to life style to things going around, but we all crib. How many of us really try to fight it? Well I know by now you would be thinking, “well I don’t crib” is it so really? Do you never complain about things, specially about things you don’t have a control on? Well you do and precisely because you feel safe as you believe you don’t have a control over it.

There is this one thing I firmly believe in, whatever happens in one’s life is ones own responsibility and hence you better have a control over it. And once you realize your power to rule your life and learn to take it over, I bet you will beat mediocrity.

They tell you what you are worth what you are not. By what conceivable right? By what mean do they draw a baseless judgment on you? Mediocrity yearns mediocrity and tries its best to stop any attempt made to break it. But if you have the potential – Break it!!

I am here to break it.

Faith

2007-10-11T19:22:00.001+06:30

If it’s so easy, why there is so much of confusion
If it’s not difficult, yeah it will break your illusion,
May be you’ll lose the zest for your ‘now easy’ vision.

Going through the empty lanes of grumpy pines
You realized how tough it was just to smile,
For somewhere deep in you knew
You held the burden of some emotions subdued.

Sometimes you feel you enjoy the grief
For it lets you fight for relief
But for how long will this war go
Alas! Whom do you have to show?

Its just one thing one should not accept
And that is to crawl on as others expect.
But remember it’s the game of life
most of them survive but only a few like
And those are not the one who never fail
Those are the one who don’t go in haste.

Just raise your eyes over the shadowy pine
You will see the beautiful sun shine
All you need is to leave this self pity
for the man of principles
don’t hold baseless guilty.
This world can’t see you go so strong
So it has to put you on tongs
So my friend never loose the faith
Believe in thyself and the vision you chased.

Tell me the term??

2007-10-01T17:12:00.000+06:30

As I said in my last post I do have a bit of interest in psychology, and observing people and their attitude is my favorite pass time. So here I am describing, as per my observations and completely biased perceptions, people I’ll term as mentally sick but as you can make out they are perfectly normal human beings as per this sane world.

Everyone needs a mental feed to go on in life happily. ‘happily’ well I am using this term subjectively, as u see, happiness is something which I can’t define for you. Everyone has his/her own definition. So whether we notice it or not, all our actions, or rather most of our actions, are governed by our zest to satisfy or rather achieve this ‘mental feed’. For saints it can be the act of sacrifice, may be I cant say, I am not a saint.

There is this set of really sick people who derive pleasure in others suffering you call them sadists. Well I feel there is another set of people who are a bit different from sadists, though they are quite similar to them, and surprisingly now a days I find them everywhere. Bad luck huh. These are the people who actually can stoop down to any levels for NOTHING. I knew people who do things for their selfish motives but, as I said earlier, these people seem to be mentally sick because u see them doing unethical stuff and that too for NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. May be such actions are their ‘mental feeds’. so basically i didn't get a word to describe them. I pity them though.

All I can say for them is “God give peace to their soul”

Amen

Give me back my childhood

2007-10-01T10:45:00.001+06:30

The most common and most stupid question: “If given a chance what is that one thing you would like to change?” Well if someone would have asked me this question, say a month back, I would have said NOTHING. And yes I mean it. But I don’t know why I don’t feel the same any more.

If God comes to really grant me a wish I would ask Him to change everything, take me back to my childhood, when I was just 3 or 4 yrs old, and then make the time stagnant.
Well I have a bit of interest in psychology and I remember reading somewhere that a person who craves to get his/her childhood back is basically trying to run away from the responsibilities. Well no comments here.

I remember, other day when I was traveling in an auto I got this weird feeling of joy. The seat was a bit too high and when I was seated my feet couldn’t touch the floor. I don’t know but a weird thought popped up in my mind. Sometimes its really good to set yourself free. Don’t bother. Don’t worry. Ignorance. I hate this word. But ya sometimes everyone needs a break. Hope I’ll be out of this stupid phase soon.

Wonder World

2007-08-07T14:36:00.000+06:30

I wonder…ya I know I do think a lot…but is there any thing wrong in that? Why do we tend to ignore things?

All of us have a perfect world build inside us and we want to live up to that. Well sounds so very simple rite? Well the twist comes in when you realize that your perfect world is no where near to the real world and above all the different perfect worlds, nourished within them, by different people, are soooo very different. Wow the life is so very simple isn’t it?

And then you start fighting, for what…well you really don’t know. May be you fight to match your perfect world to the real world to the best you can. More you realize the unrealistic nature of your perfection, more you compromise. Well that’s practicality. Isn’t it? Hmmm… then again you start with the new zest to fit in your, now modified, still perfect, world to the real world, and again you come across another not so real aspect of your “dream to be made real” world and you modify that. Well you have to do that if you need to survive.

So now look what do you come to accept in the end. The actual “real world”, with traces of your dream world scattered here and there in it, which you cannot pull together. You think you are happy…coz you are in the illusion that it is what you wanted…it is on your conditions but the truth is not that way.

Well I am not saying that one should not fight for their dreams or one should accept the world as it is. I am just wondering, why we human beings, the so called intellects, lie to ourselves. Why do we compromise on our, thought to be, perfect life. All I believe is “Perfect things are difficult to get, true. But you force yourself to think that they are unrealistic, only when you are actually tired of fighting for it and you yourself are ready to compromise, forgetting the whole aim of your struggle.”

I Feel Free

2007-08-06T17:14:00.000+06:30

Ya I don't know what is about this novel "Fountain Head " by Ayn Rand...don't really remember how many times have I read it...its simply awsome...

Well the whole novel is a masterpiece but there is this statement i really love. It goes as:
"If I found a job, a project, an idea or a person I wanted--I'd have to depend on the whole world. Everything has strings leading to everything else. We're all so tied together. We're all in a net, the net is waiting, and we're pushed into it by one single desire. You want a thing and it's precious to you. Do you know who is standing ready to tear it out of your hands? You can't know, it may be so involved and so far away, but someone is ready, and you're afraid of them all. And you cringe and you crawl and you beg and you accept them--just so they'll let you keep it. And look at whom you come to accept. "

Ah man I feel am free.

Why? -Part II

2007-06-27T12:50:00.000+06:30

Five days and six sleepless nights, finally bothered her. She decided to go out for a walk. For the first time she approached the main door of the room and realized it was left open. She stepped out. It was chill. She wondered where she was. Was she in her own country or somewhere else? Was she in paradise? Was she alive? She kept walking, unaware of where she was heading but she actually liked it. After about an hour she felt tired and sick. Somehow she managed to reach back the house. It was warm and cozy. She threw herself on bed and slept instantly.

When she got up she could smell delicious food. She was hungry, she instantly got up and went to the dining table and ate voraciously. When she was done and she laid back on her bed she suddenly felt sick, not physically but mentally. She felt restless. She realized she was alive and realization made her sick, for the fact that it came with a void feeling of uselessness, it came with the same unanswered question of why? She laid back again tying to figure out Why she was alive, for what? For whom?

Next thing she knew was she was searching for a blade.

The life which was saved with a great effort was finally ended

Lisa died.

What killed Lisa? Her ‘useless’ thoughtfulness? Her weird thought procedure? Was she really useless, as she thought herself to be?

Well her thoughtfulness or rather thoughtlessness or the fact that she was an empty mind, however you may want to term it, none killed her. What killed her was her hopelessness.
What led her to this pathetic end was her pessimism. She couldn’t find an aim for herself and she decided that it was over but it was not. If only she could have realized that life is so versatile and all she needs to do is search.

If only she had kept her hope.

Why?

2007-06-15T16:59:00.000+06:30

Sitting by the side of the sole window of her room Lisa cursed the moment when she was saved. She considered jumping out of the same window but knew very well that jumping out of a hospital window that too only on third floor won’t help. Her helplessness gave way to a deep breath when sister entered the room.
“You look much better now”
Smile.
“Here, Take your medicines”
Lisa got up and did as sister asked her to. She looked out of the open door to see if anybody was peeping.
“..and yes lie down and take rest. you are too weak to sit around. OK”
Sister left closing the door behind.

Lisa was just 19. She used to love life and every thing about it. Anything on this earth would make her happy, flowers, rain, clouds, butterflies, kids, soil, sun, everything. Nothing that wrong has happened in her life for her to end it, just all her hopes and ambitions have died. She just didn’t want to live because life was the default state. She couldn’t think of any reason to survive. Nobody on this earth needed her for whom she could do something and neither was there anybody whom she desired.

Lisa was kept on tranquilizers. She slept whole day and night, and when she was awake she used to wonder as to why she is alive, for what? The worst part was that now she was literally in a jail, her every movement, every action being watched. In her zest of seeking ultimate freedom she even lost the basic freedom she used to have.

She was not sad but still she wanted to finish her life. For her, her life was already over it was just that these mortals were not allowing her body to lie in peace.

After another three days, she was shifted to a lower floor, with another two beds in the room. She never felt any sentiments for the place, good or bad it was all same for her. Not just the place, but everything.

She slept for the whole day. When she got up she realized she was no longer in her room. Her bed was next to a huge window viewing the beautiful sun going down the hill and a vast green land. The view was spectacular though it didn’t appear so to her. She felt hungry. She couldn’t remember when she had her supper last, but it didn’t matter. She looked around, there was food placed on the table kept on the other end of the room. She tried getting up but then she realized there was a loaf of bread kept on her side table. She picked it. It was stale but even that didn’t matter to her.

(to be continued….)

Long live Gulzar

2007-05-11T13:53:00.000+06:30

Some times I really get dazzled as to how can someone be so good at something. Well at present I am talking about the great lyricist Gulzar. Was hearing this fabulous song –Haat choote bhi to….written by him, for the movie ‘Pinjar’. How can someone write something so great…

Just look at these lyrics….

Jisne paaroon ke nissaan bhi nahi chode peeche
Us musafir ka pata bhi nahi poocha karte
Haat choote bhi to rishte nahi choota karte
Chhot gaye yaar na chooti yaari maula

Toone aawaaz nahi di kabhi mudke warna
Hum kai sadiyaan tuhje ghoom ke dekha karte
Haath choote bhi to……

You realize that there are some things which you should just let go because there is no point chasing them but you cant help it. You keep running behind things and you term it as hope. Lets see it from the other side also, you know you should not be following those things, there is no point doing that but you do it ….now I call it foolishness. So is being optimist, foolishness?
Well chill … may be I am being too logical….after all we are humans we cannot be perfect…we just cant follow our brains in everything…
Hah so here we are foolishly optimistic but no regrets because after all we choose to be like that right?

Searching for Shadows

2007-04-24T19:37:00.000+06:30

It was so dark and lonely there,
and she was the sloe soul standing there,
I don’t know what she was thinking or searching for,
but she was not sad or anxious for sure.

I approached her and offered my help
she nodded but didn’t care to turn back
When she spoke her voice was so sane
but what she spoke was completely insane

She was searching for her shadow, which she misplaced somewhere.
She was sure however, it had accompanied her till there.

I looked at her sympathetically
told her that it won’t exist as it was dark there.
For the first time she turned back and looked
I saw in her eyes the same sympathy was there.
All she said was, ”Its here its just that we can’t see”
she moved off confident but in despair,
as she approached light she cried in triumph,
“Look its here its just that we didn’t care”

The Truth

2007-03-05T15:52:00.000+06:30

They say ignorance is a bliss…is it? I don’t think so…

If you have courage to face the truth and strength to accept it you don’t need the excuse of ignorance to run away from anything. But you need to realize the true truth. Ya I said true truth. Truth, its so pious that nothing can touch it then what is this true truth? You know, many a times we repeat some lies to ourselves, so many times, that it appears to be a truth to us but the fact remains the same, it is not the truth, but we cannot realize it. Truth is still the same, a lie said thousand times cannot alter its existence but it can affect your perception towards it. And it does.

Look here you are asking yourself a question, for which you get an answer, which is not true, which is nowhere near to the truth, but you feel that it is the truth. Later down the line you get confused, and all you do is say “Chill” and leave the question unanswered. And you feel relaxed, stress free, and here you are another human being who believes Ignorance is a bliss.

Living on the edge of the cliff

2007-02-15T14:11:00.000+06:30

Living on the edge of this cliff,
I wonder why things down there look so still?
When I was there, part of that world
I felt it spinning, with nothing subtle,
but now when I look down from here
I wonder that disgusting world has gone where?

Why is it that my perception has changed,
though I know things down there are still the same.
It is still what I used to despise,
it is still what I will never like.

I wanted to run away from it,
because I thought beauty was here on this hill.
but now I realize it is even more worse,
living on the edge of this cliff.

Now I know what I have done in all this haste,
just want to run down but now its waste.
even if I want I can’t undo the past.

Though I hate it, but I have only one option left
I look up at the freedom that now I have
and take a step out of the edge
and see if that lost world accepts.
Whether it does or not I’ll never know
but at least my realization it will show.

Living on the edge of this cliff I think
how stupid I was to climb this hill.

So Inspiring

2007-02-01T20:12:00.000+06:30

This ad of ‘Femina’ now a days on FM is awesome. This is what I call inspiring.
Posting the lyrics. Enjoy!!

I know that nothing can stop me from trying
from breaking the chain and flying
don’t stop me
I believe in me
so don’t stop me.

Its been so long

2007-01-31T14:08:00.000+06:30

Ya its really been so long since I posted last. Reasons?? Do I have to give them...ya was not feeling like writing and was stuck up with some stupid things.
So why am I here again? Well to share a small thought....

I am confused. What do we want from life, change or say a stagnant well settled phase? Well can we ever get settled? You call a person settled, only when he has all he wants or rather needs, and above all he is contented. So I come down to a simple question can a person be ever contented from his life? Ya he can be but for how long? Things change and hence with it our needs change, then how can we talk about being contented? Zest of having and achieving what we need or even what we want, is not bad, infact I feel that is what life is all about. Then why do we always divert ourselves by such scenarios which either don't exist or even if they do they don't last. We always look forward to 'get settled' in life but isn't it temporary? We run away from the fact that life is dynamic, it will change, we try to feel and believe that now everything will be as we have always wanted it to be like and it will remain like that forever. We keep looking for this permanent 'settled' phase of life but we forget life is permanently temporary.

Be what you want to be.

2006-12-14T14:12:00.000+06:30

One thing most of us know and believe is ' Do what you want to do. Its your life, live it the way you want to' , but how many of us really follow it? We are always bothered and affected by the perceptions of others, which might not be wrong, but we forget that at the end of the day what will make u haapy is not their perceptin but your own. And in the end happiness is all that matters.

The beautiful road

2006-12-12T14:33:00.000+06:30

As I am walking down this road,
this thought suddenly arose,
why is it so dark and lonely here?
Why can’t I even see the garden,
that always existed down the lane there?

This is the most beautiful road,
I have ever known.
Then why am I feeling so weird here ?
as if I am forcefully thrown.
There are flowers all around,
but they don’t seem to smile.
Next to me is this flowing river
then why am I walking thirsty for miles?

This road is the same, it’s beauty is the same.
Something seems to be wrong with my perception.
Suppose, I have grown insane.
I know it’s beautiful, why am I scared in accepting?
I know it will make me happy, then why am I knowingly ignoring?

May be its just too late or may be it is not.
May be I should listen to my heart or may be I should not.
But ya I am scared, to smell those flowers, to touch that cold water,
I know they are there, I can feel their affection,
I don’t want to realize them and break my illusion.

I do refrain

2006-11-21T16:47:00.000+06:30

Here I am finding myself
but I get lost again and again
want to discover where my soul dwells
but somewhere deep inside I do refrain

Why am I sacred to reidentify myself?
Why am I hesitating in rediscovering myself?
This search will lead me to my paradise, I know
but I am scared the 'others' will never approve it though.

Why do I care for them?
Who are they to me?
Why do I seek their approval?
when I know wehere lies my paradise' key?
but still their opinion bothers me
and I wonder "am I free?"

Here I am still finding myself
and here I am lost again
all because I know I should not
but somewhere deep inside
I still do refrain.

Agle janam mohe bitiya na kijo

2006-11-17T13:22:00.000+06:30

Jo Ab Kiye Ho Daataa Aisaa Naa Ki Jo
Agale Janam Mohe Bitiyaa Naa Ki Jo
Jo Ab Kiye Ho Daataa Aisaa Naa Ki Jo

Kaisaa Naseebaa Jagmein Har Bitiyaa Paaye
Apanaa Jinhe Samajhat Hai Par Woh Paraaye
Baabul Kaa Anaganaa Chhute, Maiyaa Kaa Acharaa
Bholi Chirayaa Paaye Bas Ek Pinjaraa
Phir Bhi Ye Sab Samajaave Tadapaa Naa Ki Jo
Agale Janam Mohe Bitiyaa Naa Ki Jo
Jo Ab Kiye Ho Daataa Aisaa Naa Ki Jo
Bitiyaa Naa Ki Jo

I wish I were....

2006-11-15T16:26:00.000+06:30

Yeah finally I gathered all strength to enter in to my neverland. Ya I do need strength to step in to it myself, because I know when I will be here I will just speak out my heart, and its NOT easy to do that. But why? Why can't we just speak out what we want to speak. What we really feel.

Its because we restrict ourselves to do that. We are scared to know ourselves. Deep inside, most of us know and accept, that the life we are living is NOT what we dreamt of, its NOT what we wanted it to be like. But like an intellectual being, as we are, we justify outself by saying that our dreams are not practical they are not feasible. We want to be happy and we can recognise things that will make us happy but do we do them? I will tell you what happened with me. Few days back while going to office I saw some girls playing pitthu in a park and I just felt like stoppin there and asking them for one throw, I would have felt so happy, but I didn't do it. Why? Well am a Software Engg. What if somebody from my company see me there? What will they think ? I will make a fool of myself. So many thoughts, so many unnecessary restrictions, for what? for just a throw.

It doesn't end there. It happens everyday. You want to do so many things. But do you do them? What happens is, a thought crosses your mind, you smile at yourself and think wow!! then next thing you say is alas! wish I was still a kid I could have done it again. Why? Who says you can't do it now? Why do we restrict ourselves for such things, things which will give us pleasure and actually don't concern anybody else. But the fact is that we do chain ourselves, whatever justification we may give, time, situations, responsibilities or whatever we are bounding ourselves in our own created web of unseen, unwanted rules. Break Them. You can.

I 'm lovin it!!

2006-11-08T13:33:00.000+06:30

I dont know if it's Zubin's voice or the gr8 music or the ultimate lyrics but I'm juz lovin this song. Its from this movie Pyar ke side effects. Don't know how to uploade a video over here so juz postin the lyrics...Enjoy!!

feelin blue feelin blue feelin blue
my heart says can't be can't be true

jane kya chahe mann bavara
akhiyaan mere saawan chala

feelin blue feelin blue feelin blue
my heart says can't be can't be true

saghan aachal sarabore hove
sajan aasuvan main kya jor hove
kya jore hove apne jiya pe
mann to mhara ye manncahala

jane kya chahe mann bavara
akhiyaan mere sawan chala

pavan purva main yoon udta jave
badra chanda se mann judta jave
aave havaa ka jhoonka fir aaisa
toote patang ki door sa

jane kya chahe mann bavara
akhiyaan mere sawan chala

Learn to accept

2006-11-02T16:16:00.000+06:30

You keep complaining that things are not going the way they should be. And you feel that all this always happens with you. Ah…there you are…in crude words you are also amongst those who just know one thing so very well and that is ‘self-pity’.

Well its always easy to blame others for what went wrong in our life, coz things will go wrong in life, they have to, but do we realize that its of no good actually. Fact remains the same, no matter what we believe or pretend, we are solely responsible for whatever happens in our life, good or bad.

By blaming others we are not only lying to ourselves but also closing all the possible doors of fixing that problem. Coz only when we realize our responsibility that we are able to work on the things. Man we are humans we will make errors, we will go wrong, no one is perfect, so wats so wrong in accepting that we went wrong, after all we realize that and hence we will never go wrong, atleast we will try not to. And in the end that’s all that matters.

Like a flowing river

2006-10-20T13:36:00.000+06:30

Read the book “Like the flowing River”… another nice piece of work…

How meaningful the title is…I always read and heard life is like a sea, wast, endless, with so many treasures, treasures of opportunity hidden deep under….but now I feel its rather like a flowing river…it moves on and on, faces hard sunny days…sometimes hot enough to dry it up but then that’s not the end it lives up again, sooner or later. It meets so many hurdles in its path, fights against them to the max it can, sometimes it wins and it forces that rock to leave its path and moves on, but sometimes it is not able to move that rock and then it chooses to divert its path but whatever it continues its journey and finally reaches its destination. That’s the way even life goes. You need to change things you can, and want to, change but you also need to accept things you cannot change.
Its well said:
“God grant me the serenity to accept thins I cannot change, courage to change things I can and wisdom to know the difference”
Amen

2006-10-20T00:04:00.000+06:30

Why does it happens that whatever we get we are never satisfied. Human nature? Huh…strange if this is human nature…but alas it is. Isn’t it? And this urge of getting more and not getting satisfied increases with age. Well we are suppose to get more and more matured with age rite? Is this the way we get matured? Or is this what one becomes when he gets matured? Too many questions. Rite? Ok….

Well I just remembered these lines from a hindi song:

Sooraj ko dharti tarse, Dharti ko chandrma
Paani main seep jaise pyaasi har aatma
Boond chuppi kis badal main koi jaane na

Aazma Le

2006-10-09T11:48:00.000+06:30

Today early morning while coming to office I plugged in FM and came across this song ‘Aazma le Aazma le…aaj khud ko aazma le..firta hai kab se ye dil sambhale….’, yeah a beautiful song…

I realized one thing today, most of us say we hate hypocrites, we can’t stand people with double standards, but that’s what we all are…we lie to ourselves in the name of religion, duties, responsibilities and God knows what all….we just go along with things coz someone, somewhere in prehistoric age said ‘that’s the way of doing it’, and like a perfectly tamed animal we still do the same. Now the question comes why don’t we try and change things which we know are not worth following anymore? Well first thing is most of us, may be, don’t even realize that some things need to be changed. For those who feel that, either they are not sure about it or they don’t know what to do. People who are sure and know what to do usually lack guts to take a step and if they do take a step they loose the courage down the line, and those who don’t are the people who make difference.

God gave us the immense power to design our own life…if we choose to….but like a fool we restricted ourselves in so many countless constraints, constraints we were told are ‘default’ though they were not, since we were born. And we lived our life as per others wishes throughout, thinking and justifying ourselves by saying that its fate. FATE? It’s our life then from where does this fate thing come from? It’s just an excuse just another justification another lie that we keep telling ourselves coz we don’t have guts to face our own soul. The soul which had all power and intellect to guide us to take us to what we wanted and where our happiness was., but we ignored it saying that you are a fool, knowing very well that it was not but we were being fool by doing that. But still we followed the path others said lead to happiness, knowing very well that those are the people who have slightest idea of your idea of happiness. Why? Because someone somewhere in prehistoric age said ‘that’s the way of doing it’ and we are not the people who make difference.

I am Tired

2006-08-25T15:27:00.000+06:30

I am tired of this world
but nobody to blame,
it’s the pathetic sick mentality
that holds the claim.

I feel pity for people
thinking for selfish gain
but I need to face it
no way to refrain.

God I am thirsty I need your blessings
just tell me one thing why doesn’t it rains?
I want to get drenched in your pious presence
I want to get away from this ridiculous den.

God just take me back to you
I am still your kid
I’ve had enough
I don’t deserve this shit.

Memories

2006-08-22T15:12:00.000+06:30

Well nothing is permanent. Nothing stays and above all for most of the things you don’t have a control. You are like a silent audience of the drama of your own life, in fact an audience is better as they have the freedom to express their emotions but you don’t have. Well faithfully saying I don’t know if I shall call this as ‘life’. If I dare take the freedom I will rather term this phenomenon, referred usually as ‘life’, as something worst then death.

I remember my post ‘Pingar’. Question still remains.

I believe if you can’t control the flow of your life, you are not fit to be called a human, you are rather an insect, but it’s always not possible to be able to control all the things running around you. After all you are only a human not God.

We talk about permanence of things. That reminds me of one thing that can stay with you as long as you want it to. Memories. You grow, meet people, see places, move ahead and it’s up to you whether you forget what you left behind or you live with it. But some forces are strong enough to keep up with you even though you resist them or say try to forget them. There comes the first stage where you start climbing down the stairs. You shift from the position of director to audience. Which is better? Depends on your perception. Depends on what you are and what you want to be.

Well there is this beautiful thing I got on mail:

“ If you want something you never had
do something you have never done.

Don’t go the way life takes you
Take the life the way you go.

And remember you are born to live and
Not living because you are born”

One Love

2006-05-29T01:10:00.000+06:30

How do you know when you are in love…..well the filmi thing bout all this goes like this… “Jab raat ko neend na aaye, bhookh pyaas sab mit jaye…” and lots of crap like that… but the question still remains unanswered….but before that how do one differentiates between love and infatuation….

I’ve seen so many people mistaking their infatuations for love and realising that only after they break up, or may be it is other way round….I personally believe that the problem lies with the confused mentality of people who are actually not in love but they love the feeling of being in love. This is the worst thing to happen. They unknowingly not only spoil their own life but also of their partner.

When you love a person you can do anything for him and you don’t consider it as any sacrifice or anything you just do it coz all that matters to you is his smile, but when it is not love sooner of later you start counting on the ‘sacrifices’ you have made.

You know Love is so pious that you just realise it not coz you cant sleep but coz all you worry and bother is abut that persons well being his happiness and his dreams. When you do something for him you just don’t realise that you did something. You can’t realise love untill you fear to loose it. It’s not insecurity it is that feel that make you realise the value of that person in your life. It’s only when you part that you realise how near you were.

Why

2006-04-29T09:00:00.000+06:30

There are few things which may be I will never understand....they say biggest truth of life is death. How ridiculous?

Yesterday one of my junior died in an accident.....

There is one thing I want to ask God if I ever would be able to...Why does he play such game....few moments before he is a person just like me & you but few moments later you suddenly say he no longer exists....you will never see him again he will never be around again....Why??

Ya I understand that once you come to this earth one day or the other you have to leave....that's the way this universe was designed....when one dies then only another one is born....but why a kid who had to do so much in life, who has not seen anything in his life had to go....Why??

I believe in God and I will always....because I feel that he is one unseen force who keeps me away from sin....through whom I can justify anything which can't be justified....like this "it was God's wish" but there are few things which I wish I could change....I wish....

2006-04-07T15:31:00.000+06:30

There is this campus recruitment going on in our college for the third year students. One of my junior asked me on breakfast table as what can be a good reply to the question where does she see herself 10 yrs down the line? Well I really got lost....10yrs....I don't even know what will happen to me after two months.....

It's so strange I have never found life so uncertain...leaving the college is sort of scaring me...I don't know in which city I will get my joining and by what time....I am not able to make a picture of the life I am going to have after I join my company....My friends my freedom my time every thing might get lost....once again I'll be admist of a bunch of strangers whom I'll call my colleagues. I love independence and I'll get that in true sense when I'll start working, but I don't know why I feel scared, insecure. I don't want to go away from my friedns this bindas life....I not afraid of responsibilities but I don't want to loose my right to enjoy with my friends....I'll miss them all. I'll miss my college. Ya I'll miss my college.

Neverland II

2006-03-29T12:54:00.000+06:30

Well here is a new guest in our neverland today......before I take you to the scene let me tell you who she is....She is a bird........so beautiful .....so fragile ......so timid..........ok lets go

BIRD : I never harmed anybody, but still they killed me. I loved my life as everybody else do, and I always tried to give happiness to others. I singed well so I used to sing because that was the only way I could spread happiness, but I can't do that anymore. Yesterday that man caught me and sold me to a butcher and today I was sold again by the butcher.......Well I don't have any rage for humans I just pity them, pity them for their stupidity. I would have sang for them forever, I would have made them happy forever....anyway......

So stupid we are.

Just like that

2006-03-01T16:01:00.000+06:30

They say I am crazy
they tell me I am mad
they believe I am still a kid
who is always sad.

How the heck do tell them
neither am I crazy nor am I mad
and I am not a kid who is sad
may be am just too matured for my age
may be am just too practical at this stage.

I see people with no sense of gratitude
and others calling them 'people with right attitude'
I can't bear such obscure behaviours
where those trying to harm u,
pretend to be your biggest saviours.

Strange is life,
change in peoples attitude is so abrupt
Harsh is this world
where even friends seem to hurt,
may be it's all my mistake,
how easily do i trust.

No am not crazy, am not mad
ya may be i am a kid
but still am not sad
I don't like these hypocrytes around
and i really don't mind
if people say things directly
rather than spinning around.

Put the Glass Down

2006-02-27T16:33:00.000+06:30

Life's so easy, life's so tough,
it's all up to you how you take it
when it's rough.

Yeah...well got a beautiful mail from a friend which i suerly wud like to share wid u ppl....here it is...

A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students, "How much do you think thisglass weighs?"

"50gms! , 100gms! , 125gms" The students answered.

"I really don't know unless I weigh it," said the professor, "but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?''

"Nothing" the students said.

"ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?" the professorasked.

"Your arm would begin to ache", said one of the students.

"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?''

"Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis &have to go to hospital for sure!" ventured another student & all the students laughed.

"Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?" asked the professor. "No, Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?"

The students were puzzled.

"What should I do to remedy this?" asked the professor again.

"Put the glass down!" said one of the students.

"Exactly!" said the professor. "Life's problems are something like this.Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK. Think of them for along time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but even more important to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!"

So, when u go to bed tonight. Remember to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN, TODAY!

Pinjar

2006-02-02T12:40:00.000+06:30

She stood there in the cold breeze, freezing her bones but releasing her soul. She could feel herself being torn in two but still it was accompanied with a sense of freedom.

Yeah most of us are just 'Pinjar', a soul caged inside a body. The soul is dead but the body continues to live mechanically. They smile for the world because they don't want them to know that they are just walking dead bodies. It's not wrong also, why shall they make their sufferings somebody's entertainment package? But is it right to pretend? Who are they kidding?

I have a question, a question my friend asked me yesterday. To hurt yourself is a sin and to hurt others is also a sin, but if one has to make a choice between the two what shall he do? Dilemma being if he chooses to hurt himself he will be punished again for it later coz it's a sin. So why shall he suffer twice for the same thing and if he chooses to hurt others it's still unethical. Well I thought it's always best to follow live and let live principle, but doesn't that turns you in a 'pinjar'?

Neverland - 1

2006-01-21T15:03:00.000+06:30

Let me first introduce you to this new world of my ‘neverland’. Well it is a bit different from the neverland as in ‘Finding Neverland’. My Neverland is a bit more practical…in fact a lot more …..ya its not the perfect ‘all happy no sad’ place…there are tears…tears of self realisation…its more practical…ya but its imaginary too coz here birds not just sing they speak too…not just birds but every thing. The nature has been more just, every body has equal right … and nobody rules. Its very much like this earth but every body here has a right to express…well legally over here also we have the right to express but then we limit it overselves within the limits of our emotional limitations.
Nobody lives here…ya people just come here to sort their life…not just human beings but every creature god ever made can come here share his feeling. Every body has a right to speak without any limitations any chains of deep emotions bounding them.
Look here are my first guests….

I see breaking relationships here and there every where…people blaming each other for what happened to them…they still love each other but still they don’t…here in my neverland, today there are these two people talking:
“I never stop her to do what ever she wants so why the heck does she interfere.”
“interfere…I was just too concerned”
“Concerned? Am I kid…don’t behave like my mom”
“ When you love somebody and you care for them you do get concerned…but how would you know….if only you ever cared for me”
“ya ‘taking for granted’ this is the damn term used if I am right…if I cant even take you, you support and affection for granted then what’s the point…ya I do take your presence your warmth for granted and that’s coz I believe in our love. I am not insecure because I trust you and I trust myself”
“And me? Can I rely upon your warmth, affection, support? Don’t I have a right to feel equally secure?”
“So you don’t trust me?”
“It’s not that…I do trust you…but then….”
And she just cries…he looks at her and sighs…stand there for some time and then he realises that he should go and hold her…she has always done that when he felt down…and as he was about to make his move…she wipes her tears herself and says“maybe we need sometime, some time to understand ourselves…atleast I need some time alone all alone. I can’t bear this any long this is my life and I haven’t done anything so wrong so as to suffer like this, I have loved you and will always do that…till I m alive…but now its high time that I even start thinking about myself”
And they parted though they loved each other…

What a creature this human is…we never value things which we value most…ya I mean it…we learn to value them only after we loose them. Why? We are the creature gifted with this enormous power to think, judge and act.. then why the heck so much of confusion? Why just we don’t care for the people who care for us.

Who?

2006-01-17T14:02:00.000+06:30

It wasn’t me it wasn’t you
nobody pretend
but nobody tried
may be it was me it was you.

Oh gone are those days
gone are those feelings
which made us live
which made us die
it wasn’t me it wasn’t you
strange how did we survive
or did we really die?

Nobody did any wrong
nobody was punished
but both suffered .
It wasn’t me it wasn’t you,
till the time lasted
we tried or may be we just didn’t do
may be it was me it was you.

Oh yeah it was me it was you
Who do I kid.

Strange...Weird...Disgusting

2006-01-10T17:16:00.000+06:30

Good Morning...so most of the educated homo sapiens on this earth start their morning with newspapers. Well what are newspapers...something covering up the news...things that happen around us...like they make you aware and ya 'responsible' too. ok gimme a break...tell me how does those disgusting photos of somebody's tragedy makes you 'aware'...Yeah they do make u aware of their grief's, on which you can say a "uff..oh" aloud but what about those who are there in those photos...
Who on this earth would want to be pitchured at the most disgusting and depressing moments of his/her life that too to be seen by every soul walkin on the surface this very same earth least concerned or bothered about that person...nobody would.
Well this journalism has lost all it's ethics...they intrude anybodies private life just for their profit..but to this extent...I don't understand why there ain't any rule to check this up...its disgusting

Go on

2006-01-04T13:47:00.000+06:30

Life goes on....yeah it's like all good and bad things go hand in hand, things you think are good may turn out to be bad later...may....you never know...life is so unpredictable....sometims you feel that life is horrible....things that seem so important and big today may not have that great a value later...yeah so best thing to do is just go on with life the way you feel you want to, the way you feel makes you happy.... kya pata kal ho na ho.

LOVE

2005-11-30T15:17:00.001+06:30

I read love heals,
then heard it hurts.
They say it is an addiction,
Oh well I feel,
It’s just confusion.
may be an illusion,
of the hearts
hungry for affection..

Still you need it,
still you want it.
You know it hurts,
But still you want to
feel it cures.
Oh ya it’s a confusion
nice to find yourself
as somebody's botheration.

Mirage

2005-11-22T18:50:00.000+06:30

Oh this desert…it kills…you know that there is no hope to get any water anywhere but still you see mirages and you tend to believe that you are nearing it…you will be there soon…..soon you thirst will be quenched…oh you feel so good

Is it wrong? It’s just a hope…that drives you…an optimistic thought that keeps you alive…but still it hurts when you realize that it was not the truth. It was just a mirage.

It's nice chasing them...but chasing them for what? You can never get it....but still you try...why?

well may be because you know truth is too deadly to accept...and it is the only driving force that keeps you alive....and that is all that matters.

life

2005-11-21T13:03:00.000+06:30

Well was just looking at this beautiful butterfly and felt oh how lucky she is...she has all the beauty..all the happiness...everything one can crave for...i just looked up and was about to say: "oh god why didnt you made me a butterfly" when i saw this boy trying to catch her...ending up killing the poor soul...and i thanked god atleast i am alive.

Shadows

2005-11-18T16:45:00.000+06:30

I was sitting in a dark room….and was just wondering as to why God made this darkness….nobody needs it….nobody wants it……then why? Anyways in the meantime mom came in and lit a candle…now it was no longer dark but darkness still persisted…in the form of shadows…shadows that were enlarged and even darker. I kept wondering if this darkness would ever go, can it be removed completely and while I was still in my thoughts the candle burnt off…..and darkness persisted forever.

If only I had not bothered about those insignificant shadows….if only I had noticed the light around….I made those stupid shadows so significant....

Look around....you can find what you need....now its your choice what you want.

New Day

2005-11-17T20:29:00.000+06:30

Ya the nights are dark....thats the way they are ment to be.....just look at the rising sun....that radient, magical view.....yeah man if you have never admired that beauty then may be you have missed the most beautiful gift of the nature....a gift god has given us to realise that nothing is ever lasting....every thing has an end....all you need to do is to fight and have faith that YOU WILL WIN.

love???

2005-11-10T15:40:00.000+06:30

Was listening to a frns story and was just confused.......is it love?

She loved a guy but was too shy to tell it out...so she left it to him to understand.....well guy was also too shy.....well time passed...they were parted......she kept in touch.....one day she came to know tat guy proposed some girl........she was hurt...broken ....n decided tat she will never bother for nythin like this again through out her life......time passed.....the pain healed but the fear remained, fear of not being luved back.....she used to hav crushes but was afraid of even liking nybody....one day some friend of her told her bout a guy who luved her...her first impulse was NO then she thought she was giving somebody wat she was afraid of recieving...and she thought its better to b wid somebody who luvs u then trying to be wid somebody whome just u luv......she thought...and ended up with a YES.....with time she realised that even for the guy it was same.....he luved her coz he thought girl luved her........and she was utterly confused.......things which were so clear and easy all of a sudden became complex.......she didnt know wat to do? even if she was suppose to do nything......she tried to forget the past and believed that whatever... now he loves me.......poor her one day she discovered that after getting along with her, round after 6 monthe that guy had met a girl and she was his first crush........she was confused if tat guy luvs her?....weli she wanted to just be alone and be as she was.....but that guy wont agree......she dosent wants to be with him if he dosent loves her but she dosent wants to hurt him also.......is she in luv with him? or all this is just a compromise of her heart afraid of rejection? does that guy luvs her? Or is he just afraid of being left alone?

TAGGED

2005-11-08T20:25:00.000+06:30

well here i m tagged by manjari...well let me think...hmmmm......hmmmm.....ok
1 Am very impulsive.
2 I hate crowdy places...Love nature and places that give that sweet, soothing feeling tat cant b put in words.
3 Hate hypocrytes.
4 One person i can never hurt -my mom.
5 Hate to see tragic photographs of ppl in newspapers, tv....they dont have a right to intrude in to somebodys completely private grief....which he/she may not want to share... nyways if i go on i will write a whole para on it.
6.well now i m wishing that i was a class first student who can do a mistake in counting n writing no's and i cud make the next point no.20.
7.well i m not so this was 7
8. Love to irritate ppl who are close to me. (well coz they are used to tolerating me:-) )
9. ppl find me quiet, innoscent.....but that is till they just know me lil bit once i get close to them they term me as little devil. (donn kno why they use this little m not a kid)
10. I love indian culture.....every way...let it b saries or the festivals.
11. Well i hate the idea of going abroad...sort of baseless fear to b too far away from home n ppl.
12. I take ppl for their words and end up hurting myself.
13. My wish - want a sweet home in a valley where i can live with peace.
14. I love cooking....n the best part is tat u can hav the food without ny fear coz nobody ever had to go to a doc after havin it.
15. I get tensed very easily
16. now a days all i do is count the months when my coll will finish n i will b able to join my job.
17. i never hurt nybody knowingly.
18. i cant say no to ppl...so usually i end up cursing myself.
19. M feeling so good now as next thing m goin to write is 20
20. I believe in God a lot.

well now its my turn so... deepa...nithin
goodluck

Why?

2005-11-04T09:51:00.000+06:30

You are punished when
you do some wrong,
but even when its not your fault
you are put in a jail of an emotional storm.
Why is it so? Man I didn’t do any crime
may be all I did was:
I didn’t take right decisions
at right time.

OH! Will I have to bear this
throughout my life?
Cant I just turn back time
and change the things,
those decisions I took
in just an eyes blink.

But were those decisions
really wrong?
At that time they were not.
Even when I think about it now
I find the same
the decisions were right
but now the scenes have changed.

Oh come on I am strong
and I will bear,
though I know its not my fault
but I am ready to hear.
Coz I choose it this way
long time back,
though not knowingly
but that is that.
And I promise you
I wont shed a tear,
coz I know I didn’t do any wrong.
Coz I know some day
God will hear
to all my tender whispers
he has ignored all along.

Confession

2005-10-31T10:53:00.000+06:30

He was asked to confess and he said, "Why shall I when i don't regret".

Two months later he went to church and told father, "I want to confess, I want to confess that I didn't even regret....."

just confused

2005-10-25T12:43:00.000+06:30

They say simplicity is the best policy. But is that really so?? Well then why do ppl look down upon a simple person and why do u feel ashamed to b associated with one, atleast in public or with ur friends....Strange is this life. Hypocrisy is there everywhere... let it b in society or even within our souls... I donn know if confusion can be a better word to describe such state of mind...whatever but it proves tat we r may b even worse than animals cant even use the powers we r gifted with....strangest thing about this human species that we cant even understand our own ppl...its so difficult to judge a person and usually we end up making a wrong decision...watever... most interesting this is that all of us have sooooo many friends but lucky are those who really have a friend besides them always watever b the senario. happiness is like a mirage its there but as soon as u spread your hands to catch it it disappears... u r just not able to reach it....nyways may b the fun of life lies in these endless journeys, these mysteries.

Are you a human or an insect

2005-10-21T11:00:00.000+06:30

Sometimes you feel that serendipity is probably the most suitable word to describe the phenomena of life. For some people this is however a fact as they are those who just flow with life. It is this life and world which desides things for them and they are the people who can use the excuse of fate the most. But there are some homosapeians still surviving in this world who know who they are and what they want from their life and they actually work it out. It becomes unimportant wether or not they believe in fate and destiy, all that matters is that they are actually their God, the ruler of their life.
It is easy to flow along with life, accept things that come to you and don't even bother for what is not there and then you end up as an insect. Why the heck you got a human life man you actually wasted a soul (if you believe in this concept of life). Humans have an enormous power to rule themselves, they have an ability to control what goes in their life, but how far how many of us use it? It's difficult but that's the fun of life. Take challenges, life is a challenge, it's not a cake walk you won't get things, you got to achieve them and when you understand this you are on the first step of the ladder to success coz the war has just begun now. War to be yourself, war to be a human and not a puppet.

Vicious Circle

2005-10-05T11:23:00.000+06:30

He was so irritated, literally flaring when he came to know that his friend's girlfriend had called him (his friend) to tell him that she was upset coz the guy she used to like was now in love with some girl. All the time he was just saying one thing "how could she? After being with him for so long she should have forgotten her past and whatever atleast she should have thought of him. How would he feel?" How upset he was for his friend.....and i remembered the day when I was talking to him on phone, walkin on terrace listening how bad he felt when his ex-girl friend introduced him to her new boyfriend.

love

2005-10-04T10:29:00.000+06:30

They say women are confused, selfish and what not...read this and decide yourself... ya this truly practical male gender will never understand her.

"I will have to let him go… if I love him I have to…. There are things he need to understand and he will never understand them till I am with him… I need to free him from his self pitying nature…from his false ego…I can live with him with all these things but then that will not help him … he needs to understand himself…I love him & its so difficult to do...it may kill me but then I gotta save him… till I m with him he will continue to pity on himself and for watever goes wrong he will blame me or somebody else…I don’t have a problem in taking his blames…if it is the price for my being with him I accept it…but then this is ruining him…he will spoil his whole life …he can rise up so high in life but all he needs is a right attitude for it…the guts to face and accept everything like a man…and till I m with him he will never do that…this relationship has become like that …I don’t want him to even think that somebody will sympathise on him I just want him to think that there is nothing that can go so wrong that ppl have to sympathise on you…I know my this decision will break him but the man that will reincarnate after all this will be a perfect man. I know for the whole life I will become a bitch in his eyes who played with him but my god will know what I am tat I will always love him and only him wether I am with him or without him. Oh god just help him and be with him."

Who am I?

2005-10-04T10:19:00.000+06:30

Well every homosapien is suppose to have an individuality…an identity of his own…so here is the story of a girl Sia who went in search of her identity….

Sia was sitting on her couch when suddenly the thought of defining herself came to her mind, five hours of introspection and still she was not able to define herself… what her perceptions were… what was her philosophy of life. Confused Sia finally got up as her mother was calling her for dinner, but the hurricane of questions and thoughts was still grinding her brain. Even on the dinner table she was all engrossed in her own world of mysteries about her self…her inner self. As she returned to her room an idea struck her…she always thought that she was really good at judging people …so she decided that she will find a friend who is exactly like her and then she would be able to get the answers to all her questions….and that relieved her a lot, its always a relief to know that there is or would be somebody to take your burdens and worries away…maybe that’s why everybody looks for a friend, a partner.

Well she was really lucky she didn’t had to wait for long, she was just taking her ‘Bloodline’ as she saw her image in the mirror, and there she was… the image was exactly like her and she realised that she had found what she was searching for…somebody who was exactly like her in every sense…oh how happy she was at her notion of being alike…but truth find its way out soon…her heart was suppose to be broken coz she had chosen it that way, she had made a wrong decision as every instantaneous decision is. But unaware of the future Sia sat there observing her soul mate for long then suddenly she remembered her Bloodline and picked it up to see who was the man trying to destroy Elizabeth’s dreams, as see read the climax she saw her friend again …smiled and turned the page… and to her horror she saw that her friend was not what she thought… she was not like her but in fact she was just opposite exactly opposite… horrified she read the last page to find that Elizabeth’s offender was her very best friend her own uncle. She looked up again at her friend and all she could do was cry on her stupidity… how could she put her trust in someone in a moments thought… how could she be so impulsive in matters like these…. But she was betrayed and that also by herself… anyway she wanted to get out of it, she didn’t want to punish herself that also for somebody who has not given her anything but few fake moments of happiness…She wiped her tears and thought to begin every thing all over again…She was too tired of the day so she decided to go to sleep…went in and changed…switched off the tube light and turned her night lamp on…but still her mind was not at peace. All she wanted now was somebody on whom she could really rely on…somebody she could trust, who would not leave her midway.

She was just thinking about all this when she observed her shadow moving with her as she strolled across the room. It was not attractive but all she wanted was a ‘true’ friend… no matter how he looked… she thought for a moment and then again the same hope of fulfilment arose within her…. and this time she was really sure about her choice…ah but the girl was wrong again she had done the same mistake of trusting too early… and one has to pay for every mistake you do in this market. She was far too happy to realise what was going wrong…far too involved to see the truth… but she had to know one day…a baseless notion can not go on for ever. As she turned the lamp off to sleep she realised the truth … she was all alone again…her friend was just a friend of good times and in dark he was nowhere to be seen. This time she didn’t cry… she had got used to her betraying, misguiding self. She just laid there thinking about all that had happened to her…she was just trying to figure out where did she go wrong when she realised that whatever happened was not wrong…she is complete in herself…she never needed someone else to define herself…all she needed to do was to remove that image of ego and that shadow of a good time’s friend from her life and she was all complete. She found her identity. She was Sia.

Gimme a break

2005-10-04T10:08:00.000+06:30

What is life? A question that has haunted me for long…is it a bed of roses or a path full of thorns? Sometimes it appears to be a beautiful fairy but sometimes it proves to be more dreadful then a demon. Long back I thought that the definition of life depends on how you define it…its all a matter of perception… a matter of how we want to take things…and that was the end of it…but this vicious circle continues…if it is so , if its all a matter of our own thinking then why there is no human ( a common man ) in this world who has never felt that life is worthless even once in his lifetime? Why there is no optimist who has never got a tear of helplessness and defeat in his eyes…
I always thought that there is no sorrow, we define sadness so it is on us as to what we decide our tolerance limit to be…and so there is no joy its all on us as to what we think makes us contented, because one can be happy only when he is contented, and it was really a nice thought but unfortunately not that realistic. Each day adds to your experience and you realise that what you always thought right may not be that correct.
Life is more like a running race, some are lucky to be a part of a relay, but not all… others have to complete there rounds all alone and if they loose they have to take it all alone, accept the fact and begin for next round. Life is not all about running fast , because a winner can not be a winner always and a looser is not a looser always its all about getting up when you fall and running again, no matter wether you have somebody to pick you up or you have to clean your wounds yourself…. Its not about winning its all about how you run how you get up.