Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Why? -Part II

Five days and six sleepless nights, finally bothered her. She decided to go out for a walk. For the first time she approached the main door of the room and realized it was left open. She stepped out. It was chill. She wondered where she was. Was she in her own country or somewhere else? Was she in paradise? Was she alive? She kept walking, unaware of where she was heading but she actually liked it. After about an hour she felt tired and sick. Somehow she managed to reach back the house. It was warm and cozy. She threw herself on bed and slept instantly.

When she got up she could smell delicious food. She was hungry, she instantly got up and went to the dining table and ate voraciously. When she was done and she laid back on her bed she suddenly felt sick, not physically but mentally. She felt restless. She realized she was alive and realization made her sick, for the fact that it came with a void feeling of uselessness, it came with the same unanswered question of why? She laid back again tying to figure out Why she was alive, for what? For whom?

Next thing she knew was she was searching for a blade.

The life which was saved with a great effort was finally ended

Lisa died.

What killed Lisa? Her ‘useless’ thoughtfulness? Her weird thought procedure? Was she really useless, as she thought herself to be?

Well her thoughtfulness or rather thoughtlessness or the fact that she was an empty mind, however you may want to term it, none killed her. What killed her was her hopelessness.
What led her to this pathetic end was her pessimism. She couldn’t find an aim for herself and she decided that it was over but it was not. If only she could have realized that life is so versatile and all she needs to do is search.

If only she had kept her hope.

5 Comments:

Blogger still life said...

It’s sad and I wish I could say I don’t believe this but, truth kicks me in the ass life doesn’t matter any more, when we can just give up hope and drop dead, survival terminated, I look back at all those moments I felt useless and I am happy hope
didn’t leave me

11:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

reminded me of coelho's 'veronica decides to die'.this is an age old question doing rounds among the existentialists..most have contradicted on the subject of existence..if camus said "absurdity is the essential concept and the first truth"..why did he justify that life is worth living in 'the myth of sisyphus'?maybe i misunderstood him here..life is absurd doesnt mean you have to put an end to the very existence..it wont help..as u said 'hope' is what keeps us all going...nywys nice article..keep writing

9:29 PM  
Blogger ~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

even i feel the same many a time ... life seems so meaningless ...

then i think , someday it'll all be worthwhile :)

1:42 AM  
Blogger Vijay said...

is this from any novel??
if yes can u plz mail me the name...

thanks

8:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You said it beautifully, what give life a sense is hope and confidence in self, certainly in one's own self. The day it escapes from your grip you are shattered living in a void.

2:33 PM  

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